EVERYDAY, WITH DR. ELIAS LOCKE
Wednesday, November 11, 2026
The Office of Unasked Questions
A fictional column from the Electric Icarus universe, created by Jon LaBelle.
At the Institute, a new regulation required every unanswered question to be placed in a labeled drawer.
“Questions left unattended,” the director explained, “have a tendency to become research.”
He said this as though research were a kind of mildew.
Our first drawer was marked WHY. It contained seventeen notes, a broken pencil, and a photograph of a cloud that looked suspiciously like the director. The second drawer, HOW, jammed before noon. The third, WHAT IF, had to be locked after the mechanical parrot learned to open it.
“WHAT IF?” the bird cried, repeatedly.
“An excellent question,” I said.
“An unauthorized question,” corrected the secretary.
The committee then unveiled a machine called the Answerer. Its brass dial offered three settings: CERTAIN, VERY CERTAIN, and OFFICIAL. None appeared to correspond to accuracy.
I asked whether the machine had ever been tested against an answer we already knew.
“Of course not,” said the director. “That would introduce bias.”
The basset hound beneath my desk rolled onto his back. I took this as a request for a control group, though the committee recorded it as a motion to adjourn.
To demonstrate the Answerer, the director asked how many windows were in the room.
“Seven,” declared the machine.
We counted six.
“Perhaps,” the secretary proposed, “the seventh window is conceptual.”
The parrot shouted, “WHAT IF?” and flew into the filing cabinet. A drawer sprang open, spilling every question we had so carefully contained.
For a moment, the room became quiet enough to hear the rain beginning outside.
I opened my notebook and wrote: A useful answer should survive being checked. A useful question should survive being asked.
The director ordered a new drawer labeled INCONVENIENT.
I suspect it will be our largest.
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