EVERYDAY, WITH DR. ELIAS LOCKE · Issue No. 001 · Monday, October 19, 2026
Or, how I learned to stop negotiating with a calendar that clearly needs professional supervision.
By Dr. Elias Locke · An Electric Icarus original fictional column
Well, good morning, folks. I woke up today with eleven emergencies before breakfast. Eleven! I hadn’t even put my pants on yet, and apparently civilization had decided I was the only qualified individual available to prevent its collapse.
Now, I don’t mind helping civilization. I’ve been trying to help the poor thing for years. But I do require coffee before accepting responsibility for an entire species.
Today’s Predicament
Every task on my calendar said urgent. The laundry was urgent. An email was urgent. The coffee was urgent, although I admit that one had supporting evidence.
By 8:15, I’d discovered that nine of my eleven emergencies were ordinary responsibilities wearing fake mustaches.
The other two were arguing over who got to use the time machine.
The Locke Method
Here’s what I recommend. Take that magnificent list of impending disasters and ask yourself three things:
What actually matters? What can actually be finished? And who declared everything else an emergency?
Pick one thing. Finish it. Then decide whether the next thing deserves your attention or is merely being loud in the hopes of getting elected.
A Little Quantum Trouble
In Universe Thirty-Seven, I built a second version of myself to handle my schedule. The fellow looked it over, drank half my coffee, and resigned before nine.
Left me a handwritten note saying, “This is a management problem, Elias. Not a physics problem.”
Hard to argue with a man who has your exact fingerprints.
Take That With You
An alarm clock is not a chain of command. And neither is a to-do list with delusions of grandeur.
Now go have yourself a decent morning. The universe has survived quite a few without your personal supervision.
And for heaven’s sake, put your pants on before the next emergency.
Everyday, with Dr. Elias Locke is a fictional column from the Electric Icarus universe, created by Jon LaBelle. The science-fiction events and character are imaginary; the morning predicament is a comic reflection on ordinary life.
Electric Icarus Publishing · electricicarus.com
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